Wednesday Word with the Pastors
May 16, 2012
“By mere words servants are not disciplined, for though they understand, they will not give heed” (Proverbs 29:19).
Respect is both earned and learned. One earns respect by being a person of integrity, a person that others consider dependable and consistent with that which is good. In this sense, one’s own character draws respect out of the hearts of others as if it is a magnet pulling metals closer and closer to it. It just seems to happen. But, in reality, respect never just happens. Before a person earns the respect of others, that person must learn to respect others.
The Proverbs reveal that we learn respect through loving discipline. Recently, my toddler son has been hitting – hitting his sisters, hitting his parents, and when he wants to escalate he kicks! We have told him not to hit. We have talked to him about the correct use of his hands. We have warned him, and we have said his name sternly. But, words seem insufficient before the great and mighty toddler tantrum! You see, although words are powerful instruments – tools with which we can build up or tear down – they are not sufficient to teach respect. Only loving discipline can teach a child that a parent’s words carry weight.
But, discipline shaped with love is much different than discipline shaped by power. Love always desires a restored relationship between the offender and offended. Its purpose is to make the relationship whole. But, discipline shaped by power does not see beyond the immediate moment. It is a flash of anger that seeks to put an end to the wrongdoing. And, although ending wrongdoing is worthwhile, this sort of discipline has no perspective on what comes afterwards. It forgets that the purpose of discipline is to restore relationships, not just to end wrongdoing.
The Bible tells us that God disciplines his children: “My child, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord, or lose heart when you are punished by him; for the Lord disciplines those whom he loves, and chastises every child whom he accepts” (Hebrews 12:5-6). He disciplines us with love instead of power. He disciplines us so we will take his word seriously. And, in taking his word seriously we will learn the character of God; and in learning the character of God we will love him because we will know that he is worthy of love!
In other words, we will have learned respect. And, in learning respect we will become people who can be respected. This is the wisdom of discipline and respect.
Peace,
Aaron